The Calling of My Soul
/Growing up as a third culture kid, this cultural longing did not happen immediately for me. In fact, I hardly felt Filipino. Even though both my parents are Filipino, I was born in Makati, and I had a Philippine passport, I hardly grew up speaking Tagalog. Instead, I learned Taglish, but most of the time, I spoke English. Beyond that, I learned to be more proficient in other languages. At the beginning of our academic career, my brother and I were enrolled in a Cantonese kindergarten. We learned to fluently speak a language that was not spoken at home, so we used it often together when we wanted our privacy. We then attended a Chinese Filipino school for a few years where our Mandarin benefited greatly from our Cantonese schooling.
Filipino, on the other hand, remained more foreign to us as our grades never improved beyond a C letter grade. Afterwards, we moved to a German Swiss International School where we continued our Mandarin classes and learned German. A cousin who lived with us then wanted to learn Spanish, so I added that to my repertoire too. A few years later, we enrolled at an International School where we learned American English and American customs. All this to say that by the time I was 17, I believed myself to be a global citizen, purposefully identifying not with one nationality of peers but with an international community. In the process, I perhaps ignored the one culture that had always been in the background.
I finished my education in the US and UK and remember that friends would look at me in confusion, “You’re from the Philippines? I don’t see you as Filipino at all!” Truth be told, even in the past two decades, I didn’t have one Filipino in my local close circle of friends. Yet, something happened to me when my strongest link to the Philippines disappeared, forever.
Mama (my grandmother Vicencia Yuchengco)
A few years ago, my grandmother died. After watching her pass away on video chat, I returned to Manila for her wake. Every night for nine straight days, family and friends gathered for mass and meals afterwards. I was amazed at the attendance, the outpouring of love, and the comfort from the tremendous support of friends and family I hadn’t seen in years.
After the burial, I returned home to my family in South Carolina. Although my husband and son had met my grandmother and spent time with her, they understandably just didn’t know her well enough to mourn with me. I felt terribly alone in my grief. Suddenly, I discovered a deep longing for the Philippines. I longed for the Filipino embrace and smile. I longed for the Filipino touch that I can only describe as chaotic, loud, disorganized, messy, innocent, joyful, affectionate, devoted, and bursting at the seams.
Here I am with my amazing teachers Evelyn Mandac and Michael Dadap
I turned to singing for help. I dug around my old vocal books, and in between the show tunes, art songs and arias, I found Bituing Marikit, Bayan Ko, Usahay, Dahil Sa Iyo… memories of my years in the Philippines. In these times of solitude, my grief turned into joy, and I discovered a longing for the comforts of a culture with which I rarely identified. Despite a long hiatus from an amateur’s passion in vocal pursuits, the universe gifted me with two Filipino Americans as my teachers: opera star Evelyn Mandac and classical guitarist, composer and conductor Michael Dadap. Who would’ve thought I would be lucky enough to have mentors of such caliber? In the time I have with them, I have been diligently learning music, theory, interpretation, and performance. In the midst of this priceless experience, I have added Tagalog words back into my daily vocabulary. And, while Ms. Mandac talks about Ilocano food as she sprinkles Ilocano words throughout our conversations, I can’t imagine any student of Maestro Dadap’s escaping his love for anything Visayan.
In their company, they are unwittingly giving me an education on Filipino culture and identity I never had. Interestingly, not a lesson goes by without either of them touching upon the importance of having an authentic soul.
Here I am singing Filipino songs at a FAAGC Harana Valentine’s Day event earlier this year
When I was recently appointed the first-ever Music and Art Ambassador of the Filipino American Association of Greater Columbia (FAAGC), I was ecstatic. I could finally embrace my Filipinaness more fully and, even better, I had a platform from which I could share Filipino culture with a wider audience. Maybe because of my third culture background, I was excited about the prospect of creating an exchange of ideas in order to build bridges across cultures and communities. I took to my new role with newfound fervor: my goal was to not only promote Filipino culture for my local Filipino American community, but to elevate Filipino cultural pride outside the group by sharing world class Filipino art and music with family and friends in the city I now call home.
With the support of FAAGC, HABI The Philippine Textile Council, Arthaland Corporation, University of South Carolina, First Thursday, Richland Library, South Carolina Commission for Minority Affairs, South Carolina Humanities, South Carolina Arts Commission, and key individual folks who have helped us connect the dots, I am thrilled that Filipino American History Month will be celebrated in Columbia, South Carolina in a way never done before.
Festivities will begin at our city’s Main Street monthly Thursday bash by presenting local Fil-Am talent: FAAGC dancers, a classical soprano (that would be me), and our local Harana Band.
Our library will host the opening night of our month-long exhibition of museum quality contemporary Filipino textiles entitled Weaving Communities and Cultures through Cloth, where there will be more Filipino dances and Filipino food. In conjunction with this exhibit, Marian Pastor Roces, Filipina art critic, curator, author, and speaker touted as one of the most original thinkers in Southeast Asia today, will present Philippine Textiles: A Complex Mapping.
Our local arthouse cinema will be screening Harana: The Search for the Lost Serenade and the star of the show himself, Florante Aguilar, will be part of our celebrations. Mr. Aguilar and Maestro Dadap, both world renowned classical Filipino musicians and composers, come together as the Dadap Aguilar Duo to show the virtuosity of the classical Filipino guitar. They will conduct a masterclass at our School of Music, a community workshop on Filipino Identity through Music, and they will perform a classical Filipino guitar concert. I am proud to announce that all these Fil-Am events (see below) are FREE to the public.
While I am tying up the loose ends before October, I am already brainstorming possible events for next year, because I plan to continue my work of promoting Filipino culture and elevating Filipino identity through free music and art events in South Carolina. With my grandmother gone, I realize that what I am doing is planting my own seeds in the soil where I now live as I grow roots to the home I left behind. While these plans are integral to my work as an ambassador, they are a natural calling from deep within my soul.
Here I am planting my own seeds in the soil where I now live as I grow roots to the home I left behind. Talking with Sierra Artemus about all things Filipino at my local NBC news station, WIS10 TV.
For more information, you can find links and information to the public and free Filipino American History Month events in Columbia, SC here
Chiara Cox combines her love of music, performing, art and travel by producing classical music videos from her home studio. She also loves to write. You can find her at www.ChiaraCox.com.
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